This is a part of "I Know What Women Want" by Colin Clark in the Cavalier Daily (Monday September 11, 2006)

 

"Women like men who need them, but they don't want a guy who is either clingy or too vulnerable.

Women like men who are funny but not all the time.  They must also know how to be serious.

Women like men who care about their appearance enough to dress well.  But if you dress too well, she might call you Liberace behind your back.

A woman wants to be stereotypical "woman" in a relationship, but she does not want to sacrifice any powerin the relationship to do so.  She wants you to hold the door, but not order her meal.  She wants to feel like she is being protected (that's why women usually don't date shorter guys), but she doesn't want you to start any fights.  Buy her flowers and pay for her meal but don't assume you are getting anything out of it.  Makes sense, right?"

 

Colin, you're my man.

 

 

Now, let's look at some statistics from Centers for Disease Control:

 

(Of 15-44 year-old)

10% of males have never had vaginal, oral or anal sex

5.7% of males have engaged in oral sex with another male

11% of females have had sexual experience with another woman

4.1% of males and females think of themselves as homosexual or bisexual

15% of males have been tested for HIV

7% of sexually active males reported being treated for a sexually transmitted infection, other than HIV

 

Interesting...  The CavDaily is not merely about Honor and Single Sanction!

Some ideas from a friend:

 

ไนส์เเต่ไม่เข้าใจ ก็เเปลกๆ ไนส์ไปทามไม

เราว่าเข้าใจ นี่โคตรสำคัญ

บางทีคนเรา ก็ต้องการคนเข้าใจเรานะ

เรื่องไห้บ่อยๆ นี่เสียพลังนะ

บางที คนเราไม่ต้องคิดอาไรมากมันก็สบายใจดีนะ

เราว่าชีวิต เกิดมาทั้งที อยู่อย่างมีความสุขดีกว่า

ทามใจให้สบายๆ ละกัน อาจจะดีมั้ง

คนเรามีวิธีการเเก้ปัญหาต่างๆ กัน

How much do you think self-esteem is essential in our lives?  I think it is.  One doesn't have to be pretty but as long as she thinks she looks good when she walks on the street, she walks happily.  People have the tendency to maintain their self-esteem.  That's one thing I've learnt from my psychology class.

 

I have some thoughts about my own self-esteem... but they are still scatterring in my mind.  I don't know... as I said, I'm confused.  I'm connfused about myself and about my life.  Self-esteem?  Put it aside for now...

 

Today I was reading my psyc textbook and I found one concept really interesting.  I told my friend who was also studying about it but he didn't seem to get as excited as I was, so I ran to a computer and emailed my brother about what I learnt.

 

"When an older brother bullies his little brother, his mother punishes him so that he will stop bullying his brother.  The mother may mildly punish him or severly punish him.

When the mother mildly punishes him, there is small external justification, which is the reason the boy needs to consider why he should or should not do something, in which the reason is not directly related to himself, eg his own virtue of being a good brother.  External justification in this case is that his mother will punish him if he bullies his brother. 

So when there is small external justification (mild punishment by the mother), there is greater need for internal justification, ie why the boy personally thinks he shouldn't be bullying his brother and just disregard the fact that his mother will punish him if he does so.  Because there is no obvious reasons for bullying his brother, he will then tend to think "nah, bullying him is not that fun anyway.." or that sort of thinking.  So, he is likely not to bully his brother in the future.

Therefore, mild punishment actually works better!

Don't you think it's interesting?  Anyway, I just think so.

Palm"

Have I become less smart?  I'm not acclaiming that I was smart in the past, but at least there were some people who thought that I was smart.  What am I good at now?  If people ask me now "Are you good at math?"  "Duh! No! 

 

About four years ago, a friend of mine was so impressed by my answer to her calculus question because, although I forgot the formula, I sketched some graphs that explained what she was asking about.  That memory boosts my self-esteem despite the fact that my brain is actually going downt the drain.  But now, I can't even do simple integration.  I forgot all about math stuff... I'm no longer capable of doing anything related to maths and science, and people around me would think so.  Neither can I do other academic thing...  People don't take my suggestion or answer to their questions seriously because there are people who know it better than I do, which is true.  Am I gonna be a B- student?  I don't know, but this thought is detrimental.  It has been affecting me for quite some time, and if it were to continue, I don't know "who" I will eventually become.

 

Oh!  That's "Impact Bias."  Something I learnt from my Psyc class.  "People overestimate the impact of future events on the intensity and duration of their emotional reactions."

What happened to me today?  I feel like the calm self I had in Boston is diminishing.  I'm scared of possessing a confused mind as I did in my first year of college.  That time, I didn't know who I really was.  Sometimes I thought I was snobbish and sometimes I even wanted to isolate myself from the crowd.  But when I was in Boston, spending a lot of time with myself, I felt the peace in my mind.  I was more conscious of what I was doing and why I was doing it.  That was the statt of mind I hope to attain throughout my life.

 

Now that peaceful mind is running away from me.  I'd probably need some time with myself alone again - just to slow down my busy schedule.  I'm fine.  I just need some time alone, and I think everybody does.